Episode 84: Bruises, scratches, scrapes, and all kinds of injuries

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Ian: Hey everyone, you are listening to “Coffee with Gringos.” I'm Ian Kennedy.

Paige: And I'm Paige Sutherland.

Ian: And today, we're gonna be talking about injuries—those bruises, those muscle tears, those broken bones. These things that we consider, in my opinion, badges of honor for things we've done. Some things very stupid, some things maybe less stupid, but nonetheless, we humans tend to really get hurt. So, remember if you get lost, make sure to go online and check out that transcript and audio guide. So, Paige: injuries…I feel like they're a part of being a human being, right? Either falling down on the sidewalk or stubbing your toe. There's always something that happens. So, do you have any notable injuries? Anything big ever happened to you? Broken bones? Anything like that?

Paige: It's actually very surprising but I have never broken a bone before. And I'm shocked, honestly, because I played every sport since I could walk. You know, I do sometimes extreme sports—I've jumped out of planes, I've gone bungee jumping, stuff like that. But I've never broken any bones. I'd say one of the most memorable injuries I've had was growing up, my dad, he, like, wanted boys. But he had two girls, so he just raised us as boys. So, we played every sport and he likes golf so we learned how to play golf, which I hate it.  And we would play golf, my dad and my sister, and my sister was older. She was three years older, so she could really hit the ball, really hard, really fast—not in the best direction. And so, like, we're playing golf and, like, we're younger and I'm, like, in front of her, and she, like, whacks it and is like, “Oh, shit!” and I turned around and the golf ball hits me in the face. And, like, she hits it really hard so it immediately, my face, starts, like, gushing blood and we're, like, on hole six. So, we're in the middle of a golf course. My dad's like, “Oh my God, get the clubs!”  And we're running as I'm, like, bleeding all over myself. And, like, we had to, like, get rushed to the hospital. I had to get, like, ten stitches on my face and my sister, obviously, was like, “Oh, sorry.” But luckily, the nurse said that if, like, it was, like, a tiny smidge further, I would have broken my chin, which would have been awful for life. But so, it was just stitches, but it was quite a dramatic scene of everyone staring at us. We're, like, twelve-year olds, like, drowning in blood.

Ian: That's one way to ruin golf, for sure.

Paige: Yeah, I never played golf again. Just kidding, I did. What about you? Have you broken any bones?

Ian: Yeah, unfortunately I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum—I'm quite injury prone. I've had a lot of, I shouldn't say a lot, but I've had some broken bones, mostly through playing soccer, growing up playing soccer. But yeah, growing up, just being, like, a daredevil kid with my brother and my cousins, inevitably, a lot of injuries happened. But some notable ones, mostly just from, like, sports.  So, broken ankle, broken collarbone, broken nose—twice, and broken pinky finger, I think. So, a few things they're mixed between, like, soccer, like I said, and in mountain biking. And probably the worst was the collarbone because your collarbone’s in such a vulnerable place and you always, you know, you're always moving your shoulders and your arms. It's hard for it to stay in place and settle. And so, sleeping is really painful, you know. Taking off and on clothes is painful, it's super inconvenient. So, I would never wish a broken collarbone on anyone. But how it happened was I was playing soccer in high school, and I fell down onto my shoulder. And as soon as I hit the ground, I heard it pop—I heard the bone break. So, I sat up the referee asked me to try to move my arm up and it just slumped back down—I couldn't move it up. So as soon as I knew I couldn't move with my shoulder, I was like, “Oh no. I, for sure, broke something.” And so, that one probably was, I'd say, the most painful and most annoying.

Paige: It's a long recovery, isn't it?

Ian: Yeah, it's a pretty long recovery. Again too, if you move the bone around, then it takes longer for it to heal, obviously.  So, you just have to be careful with how you're moving. You know, can't really drive a car, so it's not the most convenient. And then, in addition to that, just, you know, obviously numerous scratches and bumps and scrapes and stuff like that. But yeah, I have quite a few things that are, like, backburner surgeries down the road. I'm going to get my finger fixed. I'll, you know, get my ankle fixed—things like that. But, like I said at the beginning of the podcast, I consider it almost like they're, like, badges of honor. They're good stories now.

Paige: Breaking your nose twice…what is the recovery for that? Because you can't really do anything right? Just have to wait it out?

Ian: Yeah, the recovery’s just don't touch it and just, yeah, kind of, leave it alone. But if you can see, obviously everyone's listening but, Paige can see my nose.

Paige: It’s really ugly.

Ian: It’s a horrible, horrible nose. No, but if you really look, I've got a pretty bad deviated septum. So, it's hard for me to breathe sometimes even out of one of these nostrils. So yeah, so sometime down the road, I'm going to get that fixed, but not at the moment.

Paige: Do you snore?

Ian: I don't snore, but definitely have some trouble breathing one side, sometimes. Especially like right now during allergy season, it's not the best.

Paige: And are those both from soccer?  

Ian: Yeah, both from soccer. I took an elbow to the nose one time and then I took a head, like, a forehead to the nose. So, those will both do it for sure. I would rather break a bone than tear a ligament or tendon or something like that because, again, having played soccer my whole life and in really with other sports even, I have lots of friends who have torn ACLs or other really painful, really long, recovery process-type injuries. That with a bone, you know, as long as you don't mess around with it, it'll heal pretty quick. And it's a pretty fast turnaround time but with the ligaments, I mean, they're recurring, sometimes it puts you out of playing that sport forever. It's really devastating so, like, you were earlier, hopefully nothing like this happens. And just a quick reminder, if you are interested in taking private classes with Dynamic English, go ahead and check out our website at dynamicenglish.cl and there you can sign up for private classes in your apartment, in your house, in your office. You can even now take classes online. Sitting on your couch, you can log on and practice English. It's very easy. So, if you're interested, check us out also on social media through Facebook or Instagram.

Paige: It's funny. I, like I said, I’ve never broken any bones. But the collarbone reminded me of a funny story. Maybe had to be, like, almost four years ago. And every year for my dad's birthday, me and my sister and my dad we, like, rent a house and we go skiing. And this was the first year I had a new boyfriend. And he met my dad maybe, like, once. And so, like, we're skiing, and then all of a sudden, like, my dad likes to go really fast, just straight down the mountain. So, they’ve, like, barely met, like, skiing down and, like, my boyfriend's near him and they crash into each other. And again, they've, like, barely met, and it was because, like, my boyfriend was turning when my dad doesn't like to turn. And they crashed into each other and my dad breaks his collarbone.

Ian: Oh noooo.

Paige: Yeah, so it's, kind of, a rocky first meeting and my dad. It's like, “Yeah you broke his collarbone, he's out of work for a month.”

Ian: That's a great icebreaker, yeah.

Paige: Yeah, my dad likes to never forget that. But what's funny, I guess, funny isn't the right word, but now he's, like, a scared skier. Like, we've gone with him since and he, like, likes to go slow.

Ian: It really made him timid as a skier. Oh, that's, he doesn't want someone else.

Paige: So yeah, it's funny when they ski together, they have to stay on separate sides of the trail.

Ian: Oh, wow.

Paige: Do you have any funny stories of friends that have had some pretty hilarious injuries?

Ian: I have a pretty funny story, it's not a serious injury, but something that makes me laugh every time I think about it. So maybe, like, four or five years ago during university I was with some friends and we were all leaving the bars—had been doing some drinking, obviously. We're walking back, and one of my friends, he's, like, trying to flirt with a few girls. Like to, you know, have an after party or whatever. So, he's walking, he's, like, “Hey ladies, how's it going? You know, you guys want to come have a few drinks with us? Blah, blah, blah.” And he's not paying attention at all. And so, he's looking at these girls walking pretty fast, like, you know fast-paced walk. And before you know it, he isn't looking and he slams into a stop sign, forehead bounces off of the sign onto the pavement. These girls start laughing and as soon as they start laughing, he goes from being polite to, “Oh, it's real funny! Yeah, it’s real funny I hit my head. Blah blah blah.” Real, you know, ego killer but what was funny is within thirty seconds after hitting this pole, he had maybe a golf ball-sized knot on his forehead. I wish I could show a picture for all of our listeners, because just looking at it, I just die laughing every time. So, you know, he's got this golf ball-sized knot on his forehead and he explains to us how, the next day, he has Christmas pictures with his entire family. All of his family's in town. He's got to look presentable, look nice and he's like, “Oh no, tomorrow morning I have my family pictures. I have this huge golf ball on my head…I have to explain it to my family…” And we were just laughing, laughing, laughing. So not an injury that's very serious or long term but even little ones, like that, just are hilarious.

Paige: Did he get any of the ladies’ numbers?

Ian: He was, unfortunately, unsuccessful. The hitting your head on a stop sign doesn't impress many girls, I don’t think. So, they unfortunately moved on, but he lived to flirt another day.

Paige: I have a friend who's pretty stupid, and she likes to get, she likes to have a few drinks. And we were, like, at this party and it was, kind of, the time where photo bombing was really popular. Which for our listeners, it's basically when you jump into a photo and ruin it. And so, we were in college and the roommates were like, “Let's take a roommate photo” and, like, they were all doing it. And my friend was like, “I'm gonna photo bomb this.” So, she, like, she photo bombed it, very aggressively, like, knocked over the coat rack and broke her ankle. But she was very drunk and she goes, “Oh my ankle hurts, but whatever.” And (she) went to the bars in high heels with a broken ankle, comes home and it's, like, friggin’, like, three times the size and was, like, starting to get more sober. And was, like, “This really hurts.”

Ian: Yeah, as the alcohol wears off, the injury becomes bigger.

Paige: So, then went to the hospital and they’re like, “Yeah, you broke your ankle. You didn't notice?”

Ian: “Sorry, I’ve been drinking. I didn't notice.”

Paige: Yeah so, pretty funny how alcohol can really just mask the pain.

Ian: Right? Yeah, exactly. Something that requires a trip to the hospital just requires another beer whenever you're hurt and drunk.

Paige: Not recommended though. It definitely did not help going out in heels dancing on it.

Ian: In high heels. Oh my god, I can't imagine. It’s crazy. Yeah, so folks, be careful out there. The world is a dangerous place whether you're drinking or you're sober, you're playing sports or out on the slope. Be careful look out for your bones, your muscles, for everything. Alright, so everybody take care of yourselves, and thanks again for listening.

Paige: We'll see you next time.

Paige: “Coffee with Gringos” was brought to you by Dynamic English, where you can learn English simply by using it. If you’re interested in taking classes or just want to learn more, go to our website at dynamicenglish.cl. Thanks for listening.

Key Vocabulary, Phrases and Slang:

1.     bruise (noun): an injury with a dark spot on skin from being hit.

• She had lots of bruises after practicing karate.

2.     badge of honor (noun): a mark or sign of pride and experience.

• He considered his bruised eye as a badge of honor for fighting.

3.     to tend (verb): to regularly behave in certain way.

• Millennials tend to wait longer to marry and buy homes.   

4.     to stub (verb): accidentally hit one’s toe against something.

• I always stub my toe on the edge of my bed when I walk in my room!

5.     to whack (verb): to hit something strongly

• He whacked the baseballs so far that they know he had a lot of talent.

6.     to gush (verb): when a liquid flows fast and without stopping.

• Her head was gushing blood after she got hit.

7.     to rush (verb): to move really fast; to hurry.

• We need to rush to the hospital, I’ve had an accident!

8.     stitches (noun): medical string used to close an injury and cause the skin to regrow together.

• I had to get stitches when I was kid because I cut my hand.  

9.     smidge (noun): a small amount of something.

• ’m a smidge-tired today so I don’t think I’ll go out tonight.

10.  prone (adjective): likely to suffer from something.

• Chile is very prone to earthquakes and they occur frequently.

11.  daredevil (noun): someone who enjoys doing dangerous things.

• My cousin is such a daredevil. He likes doing all extreme sports.

12.  notable (adjective): important; remarkable

• There were notable injuries in the professional soccer league this year.

13.  vulnerable (adjective): possible to be attacked or harmed.

• We were in a vulnerable position when the street fight started.

14.  to settle (verb): to rest; to be in a comfortable position.

• My bone was finally able to settle after I went and visited the doctor.

15.  to pop (verb): to make a light, explosive sound, usually from something breaking.

• I could hear my bone pop as soon as I hit the ground.  

16.  referee (noun): person who controls a sport’s rules and regulations during a game or match

• The soccer referee told him that he needed to leave the field.

17.  to slump (verb): something sits or falls and cannot be supported.

• My arm slumped down because I couldn’t move the broken bone.

18.  recovery (noun): process of returning to normal health.

• The recovery for a broken leg can be long and difficult.

19.   scratches, bumps, scrapes (noun): minor injuries that include cut skin or swelling.

• After falling off of my bike, I got lots of scratches, bumps, and scrapes.  

20.  backburner (adjective): something that is postponed or cancelled until a later time.

• I have several backburner vacations for when I have more money.

21.  down the road (phrase): in the future

• I have plans to visit all of Asia down the road.

22.  deviated septum (noun): condition when the nose is crooked and makes breathing difficult.

• Since I broke my nose, I’ve had a deviated septum and it’s hard to breathe.

23.  to snore (verb): to make a noise when breathing while sleeping.

• My dad snores so much that I can’t sleep in the same room as him.

24.  ACL (abbreviation, noun): anterior cruciate ligament: ligament that is in the knee and connects tendons and ligaments of the leg together; very commonly injured in sports.

• My friend has torn both of his ACLs from playing soccer.

25.  to mess around (phrasal verb): behave in a silly way; to not take something seriously.

• My brother is always getting hurt because he likes to mess around and do stupid things.

26.   to heal (verb): to recover from injury or illness; to feel better.

• I was so happy when my collarbone finally healed and I could live normally.

27.   recurring (adjective): when something happens repeatedly.

• She has a recurring sickness that causes her to go to the hospital frequently.

28.  devastating (adjective): causing severe stress or damage.

• The devastating tornado caused lots of damage to Tennessee.

29.  rocky (adjective): uncomfortable; awkward; difficult.

• Their marriage started out rocky before they solved their issues.

30.  icebreaker (noun): something that removes the awkwardness or tension between two people, usually who don’t know each other very well.

• We played a fun icebreaker game today at school to meet all the students.

31.  to flirt (verb): to act or talk to someone you find attractive in a playful or fun way.

• He is such a flirt; he talks to every single girl that comes into the building!

32.  to slam (verb): to shut or close loudly and strongly.

• He slammed the door because he was so angry.

33.  ego-killer (noun): something that causes embarrassment or feel less.

• It was an ego-killer to find out that my exam score was the lowest in the class.

34.  to impress (verb): to make someone feel admired and respected.

• He impressed her because he knew her favorite restaurant.   

35.  to ruin (verb): to destroy or damage something.

• I ruined the cake because I left it in the oven for too long.

36.  high heels (noun): shoes with a high back part that elevates the foot; usually are uncomfortable to walk in.

• She wears high heels to work every day so she is really used to walking in them.  

37.  friggin’ (informal, slang): expression word used to describe surprise, anger or annoyance.

• I can’t believe you forgot to do your friggin’ homework again!

38.  to mask (verb): to cover, to dull.

• He masked the pain of his broken hand with a bottle of whisky.